Hello and happy Saturday night all.

And so. Hopefully everyones days hasnt been as eventful as mine.

OK well today was crusin along just fine and dandy. then Shanice decided that she was going to get all up in a tizzy. So of course we ask whats wrong? And after 2 hours of trying to pull it out of her she said " I am mad cause mom was cuddling with Liz!!!" So of course we think here we go again. And waiting to hear how nasty we are. But she clarifies it for us, and very clearly of how she has a crush on me. And has fanticies about me and would let me have my way with her and is SUPER jelous of Leslie because she gets to kiss on me and whatever.

So what the hell do we do now??? I cant hardly look her in the eye now with out blushing. I played as cool as I could when she said it. Granted my face was almost purple it was so red. But I know better then to make a big big deal of it. But all I wanted to say was...HOLY SHIT!!!! EWWWWWW!!!! NO! NO! NO!

We went threw and explained to her that there is just no way. One I am with her parents. Two I am way, way, way to old for her. Anyone over 16 is way to old for her. So then we had to explain why it is different for her parents and me being together. (Cause they are 10 years older then me.) So she didnt understand why it was a big deal.

So, how interesting is that right????

In better news, Jaely lost her first tooth. It is on the bottom. And we are pretty sure it wasnt supposta come out yet, but her sister decided that it was her place to yank that bitch from her face. So ow she is going to have to wait for the tooth fairy tonight.

Other then that. Not a damn thing going on other then I have a 42 oz mug of captian coke!!! HAHAHA

UUgghhh!

DO you see it???? Well I do. There is a counter before every damn post. God how frustrating is this??

Happy Friday!

Well my Friday is all over with.

Damon just finished trying to help me change my blog skin and put a counter on this stupid thing. Well as you can see there is no counter and take it from me, the skin is the friggin same. UUGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Started off the day kinda crappy. Damon and I decided to misunderstand each other. Blahhhhhh....it is all better now.

Jaelyn had Cowboy day at school. So she dressed up in the cutest last minuet cowgirl outfit we could come up with, along with alittle add ons from a late night trip to wal-mart to find....something.....anything for her. (Yes, we LOVE to wait untill the last minuet possible) But turned out really good. She was cute as hell, of course. *grin*

So we went up to the school to watch her do her line dancing, along with all the other kindergartners. Ya know, those PTA moms sure do need to go all out for everything, I tell ya. Some of those kids were all decked out. Was still cute.

We went out to grab some grub for dinner. Mexican. It was alright.

Then we went and dropped off the camera that we took with to minnesota when we went up. And when I went to go pick it up, it was the wrong fucken one. What shit man. Well I guess it wont get developed for a minuet now. We have to figure out which on it is. LOL

Well Shanice was is her usuall for today after school. She has no damn clue what an ass she makes of herself on an hourly basis. She LOVES the attention she gets from it. I wish I could just grab her by the ears and shake her smart!!! God, she so loves to cross the line and then keep going. She enjoys the shit out of pissing people off. But when they get mad she askes what she did. 4 more years left.....thats it and off to collage. Is that bad to be counting down till she leaves???? Well I dont care. Get her out!!

I suppose I have been so short with EVERYTHING lately. I used to be really good with Shanice. Really, really patient. But I am not patient worth a damn the last couple months. I so hate it. I feel like all I do it yell and get pissed off. I am sure that is all anyone else see's too. It sucks. Hopefully Leslies job will pick up so I can go see someone, maybe get some meds. Or at leaste go get something from GNC or something. I really hate feeling like this. It scares me at times. Some of the things that go threw my little head. I dunno.

well I am gonna go get what pics of Heidies I have for her and her mama in the envelope so they can go in the mail tomarow.

Night.

What A Boreing Day!!

Well after staying up untill all hours of the night trying to figure out how to add things to my blog, which I failed at, I went to bed about 3 am, and woke up, or was woken up and about 7:30 this morning with the usuall screaming and fighting to get the kids out the door for school. Since Les is home later in the morning now, it is such a chore to get them out thedoor. Dont get me wrong, I love haveing the extra time to sleep in and not haveing to get up at 6am. But geezzzzz it is so frustrating sometimes. When you wake up at 7:40 and the 14yo is raceing out the door to make the bus and you see the 5yo still in her jammies, abd the bus will be at the house at 8 it isnt such a great way to wake up.

So usually I wake up to race Jae to get dressed, get her hair done, make her lunch and give her breakfast. OMG I just thought, I didnt feed her breakfast, I sure hope she ate this morning.

Now you would think that if the kids are so far behind why isnt someone up with them. Well Les is, but I am not sure what she does in the morning when the kids are getting ready for school. Usually on the computer or watching T.V. Maybe feeding Dylan his botle.

Now granted there is plenty of time, while Jae is getting dressed and eating breakfast, to fiddle around online. But you would think that if there is only 20-30 minuest to get the kid out the door, there has got to be better things to do then check your e-mail and do whatever it is you do online. Aparently there isn't.

Well I got a letter out to my mom. I am haveing Leslie bring home some printed out crosswords and word searches. I cant send a book to the jail, but I am assumeing that if i hve it printed out it would be the same as typeing out a letter...right?? Well I hope so anyway.

I also dug out some pictures for Jay, my ex, who is in prision. Damn I have alot of jailbirds in my life dont i?

I also dug out a bunch of pictures of my two girls to send to Heidie and her ma. They havent seen either of the girls since they were babys in the hospitol. So I dug a bunch out for them. All different ones threw the years so they can see how they have grown. I will have to go get some copys made this weekend and get a larger envelope to send them out to her.

She is supposta be sending me some pics of her brothers baby. So hopfully she will get those out son.

Ohhhh yea, were under a tornado watch....batten down the hatches!!!!!

Well I suppose I should got throw some laundry in and finishes my peaches. Yep I went hunting for some food, cause damn I am hungry, best I could find was a can of peaches. ugghhhhhh

*The part of Mary Poppins is now being played by Liz.

Mornign To All

Well, here I sit, at almost 1am, bored out of my pretty little head, or atleaste thats what my yahoo status is.

I got to E-mail Heidie today. I havent talked to her since my brothers funeral. He died January 26th 2005. And then I hadnt talked to her in prolly 2 or almost 3 years before that. we grew up together. Her house was ALWAY the house I went to when my mom kicked me out or just to escape my moms house. I remember spending weeks on end dureing the summer vacation at heidies moms house. Doing all sorts of crazy bullshit. Naked lady popcicles and RITZ frisbies...LMAO good old times.

I remember them well. After I became a ward of the state of Minnesota, at 13, I spent meny nights wondering where i would go next, or who I would be placed with the next day, week or month. it really sucked. I stayed in a few placements for a good while. But Heidie, she was always there. We would always go cause some sort of caous somewhere. She was always my escape from where ever I was.

But seeing Heidie at Matt's Funeral was a great comfort for me. There were so meny people there from all of his friends, schoolmates, teachers and foster families. I dodnt really know meny of the, And from the ones I did know, I hadnt seen them since my mom divorced my brothers dad, back when I was 8. So here are all these people that remembered me and I had no clue who 90% of them were. There she was. I was out smokeing and In true Bean (her nickname) fasion she comes up asking if it is the smokeing section. Ohh, I swear my heart just fell. we hugged for so long, just crying. It was nice. It had been far too long.

Love ya Bean!!

Well it has been over a month now since Matt died. It is so tough. I try and put up a great front. Thats just me, I learned early, if you show people your weak, they walk all over you.

But, I have to try really hard. Loseing Matt, was almost like loseing my child. After all Matt, tony and I went threw growing up, we were so close. the past couple of years, Matt had gone his own way and me mine, and I so regret it now. I dont know what his favorite color was, or his favorite food, or what he loved to eat. It just kills me.

I was the "adult" in the house for meny years. I was the one who got my boys their baths and made them dinner and did our laundry while mom was off doing her thing. Which usually ment she was at the local bar finding what ever random guy. Drinking untill the bar closed, and if she was lucky well after that. She was a great patron of the bars on the east Side of St. Paul, MN. So that ment she knew most of the owners or bar tenders, and she could stay after bar close. And come stumbling home early morning.

But now, I will not be able to get to know my baby brother like I should know him. Like I want to know him. But now it is too late.

is it wrong to want to die too, just to be near him again?? I know I can't, but even for just one minuet to tell him how much I love him and how much I miss him and how much I wish we hadnt grown apart.

Isn't it funny. It was fine before, only talking to him every so often. Doing a little bit of catch up and then not talking again for another month or two. And now, I will never talk to him again. Shouldn't it have been different? We should have been SUPER close after all we went threw. But we wernt. Everyone handles shit differently I guess. But now, it is too late.

Anyway, I must talk about something on a happier note.

My mom goes to jail today!!! HAHAHA thats happy.....LMAO

I guess she decided to kick a cop and break some ribs, so she got 13 days in the work house for that. She just never changes.

I was told once bu our child protection worker that all alcoholics hit their low and they relize what a shit hole they have made their life, then they change. Well god damn, how low can one person go??? She lost all 4 of her kids. Has been in the hospitol numerous time from haveing her ass handed to her by "insert random guys name her". 2 Novembers ago she was ran over by a hugh Ford something or another great big truck, almost died. And still she drinks. it just amazes me.

Has she been to treatment you might ask. Of course she has. All threw the time we were with her. the county would get fed up with her drinking, throw us kids in a foster home/group home/whatever random garage (really we did) was open for drop offs, and she would go in for a 3 day hold. Get sober enough to talk circles around whom ever threw her their, and home we would go.

It is just amazeing how "wonderful" the system is.

WEll I must go. I am trying to post my pic on this stupid thing, so I am going to fight with it for a minuet, go smoke and go to bed.

Night

An older pic of me, before I went cut and dye happy with my hair.

It is me.

Hello to all.

Hello There. I am Liz, and these are my thoughts.

I was roaming threw a friends blog, hi Trisa, and then saw the next blog button, so after going threw a few, maybe more then a few, Blogs, I decided I wanted one. So here it is.

I am a 26 Year old, corner of of a triad. I live with Les and D and there 3 kids, Shanice 14, Jaelyn 5, and Dylan 7 months.

I grew up in St. Paul Minnesota (and meny surrounding cities), and moved down here to Houston, Texas, almost 2 years ago, to live with Les, D and the kids.

Les, D and I are liveing in a Polyamorous Triad. Which in easier terms means Les, D and I are all in the relationship together. Les and D have been married for 15 years in May. Leslie finnaly came to the cunclusion she was i and wanted to act on it. After searching meny profiles and going on meny dates, some longer then others, les and I stumbled apon each other in a MSN chat room, clicked and 25 days later I was bording a bus (yes Greyhound, YUK!) to Texas. And here I have been since June 27th of 2003.

Well I am sure you will hear plenty more of our wonderful family, sometimes not so wonderful but never the less a great, loveing family.

Hope you enjoy.